THE PERFECT GUY:
1. hair color: dark. although i scope out redheads, too.
2. eye color: green.
3. height: taller than me.
4. six pack: i can only hope.
5. long or short hair: short.
6. glasses: no.
7. piercings: fine by me ... but if he has more than me, there's a problem. and i don't like a lot of facial piercings, it looks too cluttered.
8. scars: um, everyone has them.
9. eyebrows: thick, but no unibrow. and if he has them waxed that's a little TOO gay, even for me.
10. big butt or little: little.
11. chest hair: YES.
12. buff or skinny: skinny.
13. straight teeth, gap: straight.
14. funny or serious: he should know how to act properly in a given situation.
15. party or stay at home: parties with me!
16. should he cook or bake: yes, because i definitely cannot.
17. should he have a best friend: yes, and his name should be matt kremke.
18. should he have a lotta girl friends: as long as they are just friends.
19. outgoing or shy: outgoing.
20. sarcastic or sincere: sincere.
21. should he love his mother: yes.
22. should he watch chick flicks: hell no.
25. would he swear: not excessively.
26. would he play with your hair: yes, without messing it up, of course. and he knows how to french braid it for me, too.
27. one or more girls at a time: is this a sexual question?
28. would he pay for dates: at first, yes ... but eventually, sometimes.
29. does he kiss on the first date: maybe.
30. where would you go to dinner: somewhere fun, or somewhere romantic, depending.
31. would he bring you flowers: only for no good reason at all.
32. would he lay under the stars with you: yes, preferably on top of conrad hall.
33. would he write poetry about you: probably not.
34. would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby: baby.
35. would he hang out with you and YOUR friends: yup.
36. would you hang out with him and HIS friends: of course.
37. will he walk you to the door at the end: you bet he will.
38. holding hands: i love hand holding. especially when the other person runs their fingers over yours, mmmmmmm.
39. soccer: sure.
40. baseball: sure.
41. basketball: sure.
42. football: no.
43. water polo: no.
44. surf: alright.
45. skateboard: no.
46. snowboard: no.
47. sing: yes, and he can carry a tune quite nicely.
48. play guitar: not necessarily.
49. play piano: as long as he's not better at it than me, i'm cool.
50. play drums: FUCK YES, AND HE'LL PLAY THEM FOR ME NAKED, DAMNIT!
51. clean his room: meticulously.
52. paint, draw, sculpt: oooooooo he definitely paints/draws.
53. writes his own music: yes.
54. use the word dude: not excessively.
55. use the word tight: again, not excessively.
56. would he watch the sun rise with you: yes.
57. what kind of car does he drive: one with a sunroof and a loud stereo system so we can roll down the windows and floor it on the expressway and scream along to whatever song we are listening to.
58. how old is he: up to three years older than me.
59. what would his name be: i'm not THAT picky, geez.
okay, i dare someone to fulfill all of these requirements. because this dude simply does not exist.